Finding A Mentor

The first time I heard the phrase mentor was back in the mid-90s when my line manager encouraged me to “find one”. I didn’t have a clue where to start. Thereafter, I can only recall once in the following 20 years when I actually asked someone to be my mentor, we met once, and never again. That’s because, I believe, that finding a mentor involves creating a collaboration. It is very definitely not a transactional relationship where one person simply advises the other, despite the dictionary definition. A successful relationship is one that develops two way.

There are many business incubator programmes that employ part-time entrepreneurs in residence or have volunteer mentors, I am one of them. My role in these instances is to make myself available to answer sector-specific questions, test assumptions of their product development, make referrals to other experts and so on. However, true mentorship only develops in some of these interactions. These are the relationships which grow more organically, having been responsive to each others questions, prioritising time to engage and developing trust. This is the place where an experienced mentor can identify the things the other person is not asking for, because they don’t know they need it.

One of the main reasons, perhaps, the main reason, I have prioritised working with start ups, entrepreneurs and other business founders over recent years is I share my insight but I also continue to learn. This continuous and experiential learning is how I am able to follow my path of helping others to make a bigger impact in the world.

Ahead of developing my latest business in this area, I recognised three qualities in a successful and impactful mentoring relationship:

(1) a mentor is attracted to the types of business they are best suited to support, and those people/businesses are attracted to them

(2) the people in a mentoring relationship complement eachothers existing networks

(3) a relationship of mutual respect is built. They are equal.

Only then can they ask the difficult questions of each other, can they be open, share perspective and be vulnerable. They connect.

I have a few mentors for different aspects of my business and life. How frequently I access their support and for what purpose will vary. As I mentioned, none of these started as my seeking them out to mentor me, they have developed, over time, underpinned by trust and connection.

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