History Repeats Itself

It all comes down about how history repeats itself. On a tragedy ending note, I heard about the lives lost on the Titan. The eerie feeling is similar to a graveyard site of the Titanic. Ironically, the Titan submarine vessel was not made to dive deep into the water but was carelessly taken by the lives of people who went on this vessel that was not made to be safe. On top of these people paying over 200k, they needed to sign a waiver involving death and the risk it has taken. On the unfortunate of Titanic and the Titan, both captains’ were at fault for both vessels. Titanic being selfish in going full speed on the ship in darkness with no light but a moon, surrounded by ice bergs, to the Titan being told their vessel is not safe to dive deep in the waters, and still went full speed causing so much pressure that it killed all five people. Titanic killing millions of people.

The irony of all of this is that history really does repeat itself. I noticed this in my behaviors, in my entire life, and the people I kept going to, to the people I was attracted by and to, were people that kept influencing my repeated behaviors in where I wanted to change but selfishly could not. It’s so ironic that you think about so many events in this world, where history impacts itself on repeat. It can happen in the media, or in our personal life.

The detailed events we mainly hear in the news are many crimes being repeated today. At the same time, we also figure out ways to put the blame in someone. Sometimes, that blame in others could be proven innocent until wrong, and many are wrong but will not take accountability in being wrong. It’s a circle of life of realizing who can take accountability and change, or keep faulting their behaviors and never change.

It’s surreal to even think like this. I imagine a world of hoping a change will come around for the better, but now that I am older and wiser, I notice it will never change. The only change is to change for ourselves and how we have to be careful around many around us. Sometimes, those who are vulnerable in being open with ourselves, are taking that risk to either hope we made a good friend, but also hope we won’t be taken advantage of and hurt months or years later. This I know because many who I met were like the ones before who I now consider toxic and influenced the bad out of myself.

The irony in being asked to describe what “Irony” is by your Shakespeare teacher and your acting teacher has made me realize the irony in so many events now. My learning disability with ADHD has caused me to not comprehend the majority of the stuff due to spacing out so much. However, now that I research and look up the meaning of words, just to put myself in this intelligent state of mind has made me realize we are living in ironic history lifestyles. History will continue to repeat itself, and it is for us to realize when and where we notice it. It may take numerous times to figure out how ironic or coincidental things just happen that are the same or stuff happens one after another that could involve similar events happening. I’m just amused when history repeats itself. I am more amused that it has happened in my life of where I struggled to change because of history repeating in negative ways rather than positive ways.

It’s crazy to just think of life itself. I was born on 1990. Sometimes, my stubborn self has a trouble of understanding what we were told by our family to how life can gaslight us in many ways. I was born on January 19, 1990, being told I was born in the year of the Horse. However, not knowing my entire life, I ended up being a Snake? Googling your birthday, some say I am a horse and another says I am a snake. Then again, my entire life I was always a cusper trying to figure out where I belonged. Not knowing how to become my true self cause I felt not like my zodiac or Chinese zodiac. January 19th is a Capricorn, yet the January 20th is an Aquarius. I’m ruled by many planets being a Capricorn, yet I do have Mars in Sagittarius, Jupiter in Cancer, Moon in Scorpio, North Node in Aquarius, and the rest ruled by Capricorn.

This all being said, the irony of realizing that I can’t trust much of the internet but my own intuitive self now. You can pretty much guess which is true on an internet and which is a lie that many find it hard to believe, but people can be followed into the gaslight websites telling you facts of what could also be false. It can only resonate in very few people who may have gone through a similarity, but many will disagree that it can’t be true.

The irony in many who did not think twice getting on the Titan but knew their lives were at stake, to the Titanic in bragging how safe the ship was, to suddenly sinking to the bottom of the sea. The irony in our personal lives is figuring out who we are, but not believing what many say in switching everything around and turning yourself into the fool when you really have not been a fool. It’s just people grab things off the internet, your family will tell you one thing, and another will say another thing. Making it so hard to believe that we are faced with the irony of choosing our paths, following others' paths in their opinions, or finding out later in our lives that they were right or we were right, or it was wrong all along. We can never know history repeating itself now until we are faced with the facts years later. It can be an outcome of good or bad, but the lessons of realization are to take accountability for the past of what we truly thought was right when we were wrong.

In life, I faced the odds and definitely struggled to figure out who I was. Ironically, the outcome turned out to be good and bad all at the same time. I struggled to come to terms and struggled to let it go when I was wrong. Then, I had a hard time confessing to the wrong. I also had a hard time being upset at myself when I was wrong. I felt ashamed and beat myself up. This, in turn, has ruined my ego and reputation. I knew growing up was going to be difficult.

While it is still a struggle to face my past and know losing people by being pushed away has caused tremendous pain, I also had to ironically figure out karma can switch back and fire back at us in numerous ways. Just like the Titan, I am sure Oceangate is facing the consequences in their karma in knowing that they should have known it was going to happen.

History repeats itself in karmatic ways. It can be on a good note or bad note, but the outcome always has ways of proving the past in how we may have acted. It’s a matter of coming to terms and taking accountability.

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